To Love You
by GoldStar
Summary: Mamoru is moving to America, but Usagi still has not told him about her feelings. Will she tell him her feelings, or will she watch him go? If so, will Mamoru return Usagi's feelings? Hope you enjoy and please review !! ~*Complete*~
1. Chapter 1

Title: Can't Fight the Moonlight  
By: GoldStar  
Part: 1  
E-mail: GoldStar@eternalmoon.zzn.com  
Website: http://surf.to/goldstar (AOL users have to put in the http:// or it won't work)  
  
Hey everyone! Ok, this is a fic and I don't have much to say about it. Except   
that this is in Usagi's POV. I'm so sorry for taking so long to write other   
parts of my fanfics. School has started, so I am really busy, so don't expect a   
lot of fanfics out soon. Well, hope you like it!  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or this song. SM is (c) to Naoko-sama and   
song is sung by Leann Rimes in the movie "Coyote Ugly."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I stroll down the familiar road to where the arcade lies. I don't like  
Motoki anymore, I know that. But another man has captured my heart. He is the   
one that I argue with day and night. I should dislike him, but I just can't.   
Whenever I stare into the deep blue pool eyes of his, I can't help but think,   
'this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.' But I can only kid   
myself. Why would such a beautiful man want to love such a klutz? I hang my   
head down, my eyes filling with unshed tears. I realize that I have reached the   
arcade. I wipe my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt and put on a happy smile.   
When I enter, I search around the room for *him.* I sigh softly as I can see   
that he isn't here after all. I sit on the stools and wonder what has happened   
to him.   
"Hey Usa-chan! What's up?" asked Motoki. I just hang my head down,   
hiding my eyes. I knew as soon as he saw that I was crying, he would start   
asking *very* uncomfortable questions.  
"Nothing much. How about you?" I answered.   
"Well, I'm helping Mamoru-san pack so he can leave in two weeks." My   
head shot up. What did he mean by 'pack?' I had to know.  
"What do you mean?" My heart wishing that the answer wasn't my worse   
nightmare. 'Please!' I wish.  
"Well, Mamoru-san is leaving to America because he got a scholarship to   
Harvard, which is a really great college. It's a great opportunity for him, I   
think." It is! This can't be happening! No!! Please!! I can't have him go!   
I just can't!  
"How long will he be gone?" I ask eagerly searching for an answer.  
"About 8 years I think. Maybe more." 8 YEARS?!!!! That was too long!   
How could I go 8 years without seeing him or talking to him once?! I could   
barely go 8 hours, let alone 8 years. I get off the stool and run out. I can   
hear Motoki-san calling after me, but I don't pay attention. I have to run, run   
away from this. I had to deal with the fact that Mamoru would never love me and   
that was hard, but now I have to deal with the fact that I won't be able to see   
his handsome face or hear his cunning words in so long? This was unbearable. I   
cried, hard. What in the world was I supposed to do? I ran towards the park,   
the one place where I could find the peace I so dearly needed right now. I knew   
people in the streets had their gazes on me, wondering why I was crying...but I   
didn't pay attention, didn't care. This embarrassment couldn't compare to the   
hurt in my heart that I was feeling. I ran as fast as my legs could run. If I   
could, I would run away from this place. From this world. From this grief. I   
could feel the wetness falling down my cheeks and fall on the pavement. As I   
finally see the trees of the park, I am only barely relieved. I run towards my   
hiding place, a lake hidden by tall trees. I squeeze myself through the trees   
and collapse on the ground. Now, I am sobbing hysterically. I try to stop   
myself from crying, but I just can't, I can't. After a few minutes of more   
crying, I can hear voices. I look up and head towards the trees. As I peak out   
I can see a couple. A guy with dark brown hair with blue eyes with a girl with   
brownish-blondish hair and green eyes clinging to his arm. They're looking at   
each other so lovingly that I almost want to run to them and yell in their face   
that their relationship wasn't going to last long. But then I realize that I'm   
jealous of them. What those two have is what I've always wished for...love. I   
head for the other small opening between the trees and leave.  
As I am enter into my house, my mom is in the kitchen. My dad isn't home,   
and Shingo is upstairs. I close the door quietly and sneak upstairs so my mom   
won't know that I was crying. I reach my door and open it, closing right after   
I get in my room. I throw myself on my bed and cry some more. After half an   
hour or so, I hear my mom calling my name to eat dinner. Only then do I notice   
that I'm hungry and my stomach grumbles in response. I chuckle softly in spite   
of myself. I stand up, rush to the bathroom, and wash my face off, making sure   
all red and black stains were gone. I check myself in the mirror one last time   
and make sure that every evidence is gone. When I see it is, I leave the   
bathroom and go down the stairs. At the very last step, I suck in a big breath   
and let it out with my eyes closed. As I walk into the kitchen, I smell a very   
good fragrance and I rush to my seat at the dinner table. Let's just say that   
during dinner, I wasn't thinking of my *problems* right then.  
After dinner, I went up to my beloved room again and just laid there,   
thinking instead of crying this time. Maybe I should just tell him. I mean,   
what's the worse that could happen? He says he doesn't have a soft spot in his   
body for me and tease me more than ever and then leave and I wouldn't have to   
see him again for at least 8 more years and I would already probably be in a   
relationship. Yeah, I mean, there's nothing I could possibly lose, right?   
Great idea! Tomorrow, I can ask Rei and the other girls for more help. I was   
suddenly tired and closed my eyes, thinking of how nice it would be to have   
Mamoru in her arms.  
  
* ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** *The Next Day* ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **   
  
I was walking towards the temple where we held our senshi business. I   
had to put on a happy face and was about to round a corner when I bumped into   
something very hard. Only three things could be that hard: a pole, a wall, or   
Mamo-chan. When I heard a grunt, it was obvious it was the latter.   
"Jeez Odango. Watch where you're going for once. That was painful you   
know," said Mamoru on the ground. I looked at him and realized that he was   
wearing and black long-sleeved shirt with jeans on. Wow!! Is it just me, or   
does this dude look gorgeous?!! (AN: Doesn't he always look drop-dead hot?!!   
Ok, back to the fic!) I quickly recovered.   
"Well, why don't *you* watch where you're going?! You bumped into me!   
You know what? I don't have time for you today! So why don't you just move it   
and we'll both be on our happy merry way and act like this didn't happened! You   
ok with that?!!" I said very angrily. I thought I had seen a small hint of   
disappointment on his cute face, but it disappeared as soon as it had come. He   
was about to say something, but Motoki had come. As many other times, I was   
very happy that he came. I gave a mental sigh of relief. I plastered a grin on   
my face and chirped out,  
"Hi Motoki! I have to go see the girls now, so I'll leave you and the   
beast alone. Bye bye!" and then I ran off. I didn't dare look back, scared for   
some reason. Maybe I shouldn't go to the senshi meeting today, I thought. I   
mean, what's the worst that could happen, Rei and Luna yell in my face again?   
So, I decided to go to the park and instead of going my secret place, my heart   
lead me to the cherry blossom tree. There I saw a bench and just plopped down   
on it. I closed my eyes and put my arm over my eyes. I welcomed the silence   
and the peace. For a couple of minutes, it was like that, until I heard a   
rustling in the bushes. I sat up and my eyebrows knitted together while my eyes   
narrowed. And then, there popped out something big and black and blue. The   
only thing that could be that was Mamo-chan. Wait a sec, MAMO-CHAN!!!!!!! Oh   
my gosh!! I didn't realize he would be here! I suddenly wondered if a mirror   
was around. I could imagine the look on Mamo-chan's face. It would be   
hilarious! I would be running around fixing myself at the sight of him while he   
would be thinking that I had gone insane. Ok, maybe I had gone a little insane,   
but it was all HIS fault! So, I just sat there, putting a bored expression on   
my face.  
"Oh, it's you," I felt like running and hugging him, but I restrained   
myself from doing that and boy did that take a lot of effort.   
"That's a very warm welcome Odango. What are you doing here? I thought   
you had to see the girls?" he put on his to-die-for grin.   
"Well, if you must know, I was supposed to meet the girls here in an hour,   
but I realized I was a little early, so just came here to sit. Is that ok with   
you Mr. Big Ego?" I reply with a fake innocence, lying through my very teeth.   
He walked towards me and I thought for a minute he was going to kiss me. Wait,   
that's only in dreams. Tsukino, get yourself a reality pill soon! But Mamo-  
chan did the next best thing. He sat right next to me! Woohoo!! Definite   
progress! "What are you doing here?" I ask.  
"Came here to do some relaxing, nothing else," he said it like there   
wasn't a care in the world. Man I wish I could do that! But ever since I   
realized I had feelings for him, it's been nearly impossible! So I just   
answered with a nod. Hey, this would be a great place to tell him! We're all   
alone! Ok, you can do this girl!  
"Hey Mamoru-san, can I talk to you about something?" I ask quietly.  
"Sure, but I'm very interested into knowing what it could possibly be so   
that you would talk to me about it..." he replied. This has everything to do   
with you, you baka!! I calmed down.  
"Um...well, um...I...well, I uh, I..." I stammered, a lot.  
"Maybe today Odango."   
"I...I LOVE YOU!" oh man!! I had this whole love sappy speech ready and   
that's all I could say! I could shoot myself right now. I look at his face and   
he is in total shock. Now, I definitely wasn't planning to do this, but this   
was a one in a million kinda thing. I kissed him. Yes, me Usagi Tsukino kissed   
Mamoru Chiba, my Mamo-chan. Now, this was my first kiss, so I wasn't a pro or   
anything. I thought I felt him respond, but then he stopped and broke it. When   
I felt cold air on my lips, I felt like breaking down and crawling into a hole   
again. I looked at this face for a sign that I was wrong, but it simply wasn't   
there. I could feel water starting to form at the corner of my eye. He looked   
guiltily at me and whispered,  
"Well, I really wasn't expecting this. And if it's a joke, I'm not   
laughing. "I'm really sorry Usagi," he used my real name for the first time,   
"but I don't feel the same way. I can't love you." My world came to an end at   
that very second.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ok, hoped you people liked! Spent a lot of time writing this and making sure it   
was perfect, but I'm sure it's far from perfect. Anyway, if you like it, e-mail   
me. If you don't, e-mail me anyway. Thanks for reading!  
  
*GoldStar*  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Title: To Love You 2/2  
By: GoldStar  
E-mail: GoldStar@eternalmoon.zzn.com  
Site: http://surf.to/goldstar  
  
Hi hi!!!!!! I'm back!!! I got a lot of comments about this fic saying how   
screwed up it was that Mamoru said that he didn't love Usagi back, so now I'm   
back to tell you what happens at the end of this fic. You guys decide if you   
want an sequel to this and I'll decide by your reviews and e-mails. Ok, enough   
of me yapping...on with chp. 2!   
  
- Flashback -   
  
"I...I LOVE YOU!" Oh man!! I had this whole love sappy speech ready and   
that's all I could say! I could shoot myself right now. I look at his face and   
he is in total shock. Now, I definitely wasn't planning to do this, but this   
was an one in a million kinda thing. I kissed him. Yes, me, Usagi Tsukino kissed   
Mamoru Chiba; my Mamo-chan. Now, this was my first kiss, so I wasn't a pro or   
anything. I thought I felt him respond, but then he stopped and broke it. As soon as   
I felt cold air on my lips, I felt like breaking down and crawling into a hole   
again. I looked at this face for a sign that I was wrong, but it simply wasn't   
there. I could feel water starting to form at the corner of my eye. He looked   
guiltily at me and whispered,  
"Well, I really wasn't expecting this. And if it's a joke, I'm not   
laughing. I'm really sorry Usagi," he used my real name for the first time,   
"but I don't feel the same way. I can't love you." My world came to an end at   
that very second.   
  
- End Flashback -  
  
- Usagi's POV -  
  
I could feel tears start to crawl up into my eyes, then fall right back   
down and splatter on the cool bench. I wanted to run, but my legs just didn't   
do what I wanted them to. Mamoru looked at me with pity when he saw those tears.   
Kami-sama, the last thing that I wanted now was for him to pity me. He started   
to speak,  
"Usagi, I'm sorry. I really am. I, I just don't and can't. You   
understand, right?" he asked anxiously, not wanting to break my heart again. I   
just simply nodded my head...and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I   
just ran. I stopped only because I was out of breath and when I looked up and   
saw my surroundings, I realized that I was at the temple. And then I remembered   
that there was a meeting. So, without wanting to make the girls even madder (and   
wanting comfort), I walked inside the temple, tears still on my cheeks. I could   
feel that they were about to complain about my being late when I walked inside.   
But as soon as I put my head up, I saw surprise, confusion, and sadness   
written all over their faces. I just closed the door behind me and sank down to   
the ground, crying tears that I thought were already out. I just sat there. Then   
suddenly I felt arms go around me and I looked up to find out it was Rei-chan.   
"Usa-chan, I don't know what's wrong, but if you want to talk about it,   
then go ahead. But if you don't, just keep crying," and then I felt everyone's   
arms go around me. Artemis and Luna settled themselves on my lap. For the   
next 5 minutes, it was like this. I appreciated the warmth and love so much.   
I stopped crying and gently tried to get out of their warm embraces. When I saw   
their faces, it was filled with concern. Mina-chan spoke this time,  
"What is it Usa-chan? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" she asked   
patiently. I sniffled.  
"Well, as you all already know, I love Mamo-chan." They nodded so I continued,   
"I heard from Motoki that he was going to go to Harvard in the States in two weeks and   
might not come back in 8 years or maybe even more. And since I didn't want him to   
leave without telling him my feelings, I told him today. Right before I came   
here..."  
"What did he say?" asked Makoto-chan, although everyone knew the answer.   
I started crying all over again. It was so hard for me to say the next words.  
"He said that he didn't...that he doesn't and he couldn't. I could just   
tell that he only said those things out of pity though..."  
"Oh Usa, if he can't see how special you really are, then he doesn't   
deserve you," said Ami-chan. I smiled a little with gratitude at all of them. I honestly  
don't know what I would do without them.   
"Thank you everyone. If you weren't here, I don't know what I would've   
done. Thank you so much."  
"Hey girl, it's no problem...I'm sure you would do the same for all of us.   
Well, actually, you better!" replied Rei. We all let out a small giggle and had   
another group hug.  
  
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** *The Next Week* ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  
  
The next day, I went back to the arcade. I knew that Mamoru wasn't going   
to be there because he would be packing. He would be leaving in two days. I sighed and made   
my way into the arcade. There stood Motoki, looking like he was waiting for me.   
When he saw me come in, the look of concern went to his face. At that moment, I   
knew that he knew what I had said and done. I went his way and when we met, we   
exchanged hellos.  
"How are you doing, Usa? I heard from Mamoru what happened. But I'm here   
to tell you something good, Usa." He had on the kind of smart-alec grin. I   
smiled a little myself.  
"You're supposed to be here anyway. But what is this great news you have   
to tell me?"  
"Well, all I'm going to say is to be ready at 6:00 for me to pick you up."   
I was definitely confused now.  
"Huh?" I really hope that Motoki-san isn't asking me on a date out of   
pity, and especially if he already has Reika. I narrowed my eyes in a   
suspicious looking way. He must've known what I was thinking.  
"Hehe, don't worry. I'm not asking you out. I have my Reika. I'm hurt   
that you would think of me like that." He pouted. This, however, didn't make me   
feel guilty, but more convinced that he was up to something. My brow raised.   
"Ok, ok. It's a surprise though, so you're not getting it out of me. Just   
dress up really formal and be ready by then. I'm sure you'll like it!" He   
winked, then walked away. I might as well just go along with his plan. What   
else could go bad?  
  
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** *In the Evening* ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **   
  
It was 5:55. I was wearing a pink two-piece dress. The top was a halter: a  
neck with two straps criss-crossing halfway at my back and the end was also a V,   
letting me show some skin at my stomach sides. It had small diamonds on the   
front part of the straps and against the neckline. The skirt was two-layers,   
that went to the ground. The bottom layer was plain white, while the second   
layer was a sheer pink, having sparkles on it. I had pink heels on, like the   
one's Sailor Venus wears. I put my hair down this time and crimped it, also   
putting sparkles in it. I checked myself in the mirror and okayed everything. I   
sighed and thought that no matter what Motoki had planned for me, I would never   
be completely satisfied this night. Unless, of course, it was with Mamo-chan. I shook my   
head. No, I have to stop calling him that. He definitely is NOT mine.   
Then, I heard the doorbell ring. It was Motoki. Lucky no one was home, or   
dad would already have the shotgun pointing at Motoki-san's head. I walked   
downstairs, opened the door, and saw that Motoki-san was wearing casual clothes.   
I was definitely confused and clueless now. He saw it and laughed.  
"Don't worry about it. You'll see. Now, you have somewhere to go   
princess." I just merely nodded and followed him into his car. "Here, where   
this blindfold. I don't want you knowing where you're going until we're there."   
I took the blindfold and put over my eyes. In the next 15 minutes or so, I   
could feel the car stopping and turning while I was in a world of darkness.   
Then, finally, he stopped and turned off the car. He told me to just sit here,   
and seconds later, I could hear the door open. He took my hand and led me out   
of the car. I could feel him leading me somewhere, and I just followed,   
trusting him. Then, we stopped and were in a building. I could hear him   
open a door and push me gently forward. I could feel something feathery   
brushing against my foot. Then, I heard Motoki-san say something.  
"After I take the blindfold off, I want to you keep your eyes closed.   
Don't open them until you hear the door close, ok?" I nodded, and felt the   
cloth come off my eyes. Then, I heard the door slowly close. My eyes opened   
and I looked at my surroundings. I was in a strange apartment, and there were   
ruby red rose petals scattered all over the floor. Candles were the only   
light source. In front of me, there was a small table with a rose, lighted   
candle, and a note that had my name on it. I opened and it read,  
"Come to the balcony where you can see the moon and stars. Bring the   
rose..." I was curious about where I was and who was I was going to see at the   
balcony. I walked, the rose petals flattening underneath my heels. Soon, I   
came to the balcony. When I looked to the left towards the end, there was Mamo-chan.   
He was dressed in a tuxedo and looking very handsome. At the sight of him though, my   
heart wrenched. I asked angrily,  
"Why are you doing this to me?!! Is this something out of pity?! Well,   
let me tell you something! I don't need your pity! You think I can't handle   
getting turned down? Do you like to see me suffer or something? Are you not   
satisfied that you gave me my most memorable embarrassing moment yet when I said   
I love you?!!!!" I was crying by now and collapsed on the floor, my head in my   
hands. The rose that was previously in my hand was now also on the ground,   
forgotten. I could feel the cold night air on my skin, sending me shivers down   
my spine. Then, I felt warmth and realized that it was *him*.  
"I'm sorry, Usagi. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted you to come here   
to tell you something, not to embarrass you or pity you. I would never do   
that." I heard his sweet voice carry through the air.  
"What then? What could you possibly tell me now?" I whispered.   
"I love you," he answered. My eyes widened. I pulled free of his embrace   
and yelled again.  
"I don't get you!! What do you mean?!! I just don't understand!! One   
moment you say that you can't love me and the next you're saying you do?" I   
looked at him angrily through my tears.  
"Usagi, let me explain. When you told me you loved me, to say I was   
beyond shocked is only the start of it. At that time, I thought I didn't. But   
then you ran away, and when I came back here, I went through the scenes over in   
my head. I realized that I wanted to kiss you again, to feel your warmth, and   
most of all, I wanted to hear you say those words again. I realized that I was   
in love with you and had never noticed it. Maybe it's because I was blinded and   
too ignorant to admit it. But everyday of my life, ever since I first saw you,   
I have kept dreaming and seeing you in my head, never able to get you out of my   
mind. And yesterday, I realized that I can't and won't keep you out of my   
heart. I love you too much to let this one chance of us being together to go,"   
I absorbed this into my head and heard him whisper, "I love you, and if it takes   
forever for you to be able to trust me again, then dammit I'll give forever to   
you." And then, he walked up to me, and held me. I stiffened, but I was   
finally able to relax ever since I saw him. I could tell, feel, that he was   
telling me the truth. He used his finger to pull my chin up, I looked into his   
eyes. They were so full of love, with a little of nervousness and anxiousness   
on the side that I simply had to melt. Then, our lips met in a heart-searing   
kiss. After a few minutes, we both pulled back and I told him while clinging to   
him,  
"Let me stay with you. Let me hold you until I can no longer hold   
anymore."  
  
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** *At the Airport* ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  
  
We were saying our 'see you laters', but not good-byes. Good-byes meant   
that we were never going to see each other again, and that wasn't going to   
happen. Not now when we had finally found each other. There were little kisses   
and hugs here and there, but I was too sad.   
"Flight 614 to USA, boarding now," announced the flight attendance. I   
clung onto Mamo-chan harder, longing for him not to go. But I knew this was for   
the best. I knew that Mamo-chan deserved the best, and if he had to go the   
States for it, then I would see him go.   
"Usako, I have to go. Remember, I love you. Don't forget that. I'll   
come visit whenever I can, and then, I'll be back for ever as soon as   
possible. I love you too much to let you go. Wait for me?" he asked.  
"Of course Mamo-chan. I'll wait for you as long as live." We kissed   
again, a passionate one.  
"Flight 614 to USA, last call." He pulled back, and I tried to hold my   
tears back, for the sake of him and me.   
"I love you Mamo-chan, see you later." He smiled, and mouthed 'I love you,   
Usako', walking away from me. He gave his ticket to the flight attendant, and headed   
towards the plane. He looked back and I yelled,  
"We'll see each other again!" He nodded again, turned, and left from my   
sight. Tears were flying down my cheeks freely now.  
"Right?"   
  
  
The End !!  
  
AN: That's it peoples!! Seriously! I don't know if I should do a sequel or   
not. Your e-mail will answer that! Hehez! I really, really love how this fic   
turned out. I changed the title after the whole story was finished because the   
old title of this fic fit with my original idea, but then when I changed the   
whole thing, I figured it wouldn't be such a great title after all, so that's   
why I changed it. Hope you like!   



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